How To Win Friends and Influence People

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Dale Carnegie

Table of Contents

Part One: Fundamental Techniques of Handling People

  1. Dont Criticize, Condemn Or Complain
  2. Give Honest And Sincere Appreciation
  3. Arouse In The Other Person An Eager Want

Part Two: Six Ways to Make People Like You

  1. Become Genuinely Interested In Other People
  2. Smile
  3. Remember That A Person’s Name Is To That Person The Sweetest And Most Important Sound In Any Language
  4. Be A Good Listener. Encourage Others To Talk About Themselves
  5. Talk In Terms Of The Other Person’s Interests
  6. Make The Other Person Feel Important – And Do It Sincerely

Part Three: How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking

  1. The Only Way To Get The Best Of An Argument Is To Avoid It
  2. Show Respect For The Other Person’s Opinions And Never Say To Them “You Are Wrong.”
  3. If You Are Wrong, Admit It Quickly And Emphatically
  4. Begin In A Friendly Way
  5. Get The Other Person Saying “Yes,Yes” Immediately
  6. Let The Other Person Do A Great Deal Of The Talking
  7. Let The Other Person Feel That The Idea Is His Or Hers
  8. Try Honestly To See Things From The Other Person’s Point Of View
  9. Be Sympathetic With The Other Person’s Ideas Or Desires
  10. Appeal To The Nobler Motives
  11. Dramatize Your Ideas
  12. Throw Down A Challenge

Part Four: Be A Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

  1. Begin With Praise And Honest Appreciation
  2. Call Attention To People’s Mistakes Indirectly
  3. Talk About Your Own Mistakes Before Criticizing The Other Person
  4. Ask Questions Instead Of Giving Direct Orders
  5. Let The Other Person Save Face
  6. Praise The Slightest Improvement And Praise Every Improvement
  7. Give The Other Person A Fine Reputation To Live Up To
  8. Use Encouragement. Make The Fault Seem Easy To Correct
  9. Make The Other Person Happy About Doing The Thing You Suggest

Notes

The deepest urge in human nature is the “desire to be important.”

…think always in terms of other people’s point of view, and see things from their angle.

We are interested in others when they are interested in us.

Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.

A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still.

“Men must be taught as if you taught them not. And things unknown proposed as things forgot.”

Alexander Pope

3/4 of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them, and they will love you.

…assume that he or she is sincere, honest, truthful and willing.

If you want to improve a person in a certain respect, act as though that particular trait were already one of his or her outstanding characteristics.

When you make your request, put it in a form that will convey to the other person the idea that he personally will benefit.