The Psychology of Persuasion
006124189X
Robert B. Cialdini PhD
Notes
A well-known principle of human behavior says that when we ask someone to do us a favor we will be more successful if we provide a reason. People simply like to have reasons for what they do.
For those who owed him a favor, it made no difference whether they liked him or not; they felt a sense of obligation to repay him, and they did…Another consequence of the rule, however, is an obligation to make a concession to someone who has made a concession to us.
The truly gifted negotiator, then, is one whose initial position is exaggerated enough to allow for a series of reciprocal concessions that will yield a desirable final offer from the opponent, yet is not so outlandish as to be seen as illegitimate from the start.
The tactic of starting with a little request in order to gain eventual compliance with related larger requests has a name: the foot-in-the-door technique.
“Where all think alike, no one thinks very much.“
Walter Lippman
…my advice would be to isolate one individual from the crowd: Stare, speak, and point directly at that person and no one else: “You, sir, in the blue jacket, I need help. Call an ambulance.”…We will use the actions of others to decide on proper behavior for ourselves, especially when we view those others as similar to ourselves…when people are uncertain, they look to the actions of others to guide their own actions.
When our freedom to have something is limited, the item becomes less available, and we experience an increased desire for it. However, we rarely recognize that psychological reactance has caused us to want the item more; all we know is that we want it. Still, we need to make sense of our desire for the item, so we begin to assign it positive qualities to justify the desire…The people involved came to want the restricted item more and, as a result, came to feel more favorable toward it.
Freedoms once granted will not be relinquished without a fight.
The joy is not in experiencing a scarce commodity but in possessing it. It is important that we not confuse the two.