Handbook for Living
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Dalai Lama
Notes
“…one begins by identifying those factors which lead to happiness and those factors which lead to suffering. Having done this, one then sets about gradually eliminating those factors which lead to suffering and cultivating those which lead to happiness. that is the way.”
“Happiness is determined more by one’s state of mind than by external events.”
Kisagotami lost a son, her only child. She asked the Buddha to restore her child. He said he could do so only using mustard seed taken from a household where no child, spouse, parent, or servant has died. Upon finding that no household has not experienced a lost she returned to the Buddha. “You thought that you alone had lost a son, the law of death is that among all living creatures there is no permanence.”
3 stages of change within relationships (cyclical)
- Hold Me Tight
- Put Me Down
- Leave Me Alone
“Man is ready and willing to shoulder any suffering as soon and as long as he can see meaning in it.”
Victor Frankl
“If the situation or problem is such that it can be remedied, then there is no need to worry about it…Alternatively, if there is no way out, no solution, no possibility or resolution, then there is also no point in being worried about it, because you can’t do anything about it anyway.”
“This is a bit like a river that is flowing quite strongly, in which you cannot see the riverbed clearly. If, however, there was some way you could stop the flow in both directions, from where the water is coming and to where the water is flowing, then you could keep the water still. That would allow you to see the base of the river quite clearly.”
We tend to return to a certain baseline level of happiness no matter what our external conditions are. This is illustrated by lottery winners and victims of tragic events alike.