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Stephen Covey
Notes
A beautiful family culture is a “we” culture.
Unique human gifts:
- Self-awareness – become aware of your own behavior
- Conscience – moral or ethical sense or “inner voice”
- Imagination – ability to envision something entirely different from past experience
- Independent will – the power to take action
The Emotional Bank Account represents the quality of the relationship you have with others. It’s like a financial bank account in the you can make “deposits” by proactively doing things that build trust in a relationship, or you can make “withdrawals” by reactively doing things that decrease the level of trust…Until you understand another person, you are never going to know what constitutes a deposit in his or her account.
Mission Statement – clear, compelling vision of what you and your family are all about…A family mission statement is a combined, unified expression from all family members of what your family is all about and the principles you wish to govern your life…just go and ask each member of your family, individually:
- What is the purpose of our family?
- What is this family about?
- What is the purpose of our marriage?
- What is the essential reason for being?
- What are (the family’s) priority goals?
- What kind of family do you want to be?
- What kind of home would you like to invite your friends to?
- What embarasses you about your family?
- What makes you feel comfortable here?
- What makes you want to come home?
- What makes you feel drawn to us as your parents so that you are open to our influence?
- What do you want to be remembered by?
One-on-One dates – It’s also vital to spend one-on-one time with each child for which the child usually writes the agenda.
The point is that if you don’t put the big rocks in first, they hardly ever get in at all! The key is to put the big rocks in first.
One of the things we have learned in this area is that mealtimes should always be happy, pleasant occasions for eating, sharing pleasant talk, and learning – sometimes even serious discussions about various intellectual or spiritual topics – but never a place for disciplining, correcting or judging.
I’ve come to realize though that the objectives are different when you work with children. The work you are doing is the work of nurturing character and future capacity. And when you keep that end in mind, you don’t get frustrated. You have peace and joy in doing it.
We are first and foremost models to our children…if you do not teach them, society will. And that [you or society] is what will mold and
Create:
- Your family mission statement
- Dedicated weekly family times
- Calendered one-on-one dates